I love you, Verizon. I hate you.

Things had been going so well between us, that I decided to renew my contract with you. I felt so optimistic about our future together, but then something went wrong. First, you played with my emotions by sending me a free phone. Then you charged me $320 for the phone. Then you grovelled and gave me my money back, but I discovered that you had reduced our contract from two years down to one. I can't figure out if you want me or not. Did I say something? Was it that time I checked out the iPhone at the mall? I swear, it was nothing serious. WE WERE JUST TALKING!