Teething.

I'm learning something about babies (finally, after seven months of living with one). First, they don't do anything when they're supposed to.  The little miss was sitting at five months, but still doesn't roll from back to tummy. Second, they're big fakers.

Every time a baby gets fussy, people are all like, omg she's totally teething. Look she's drooling and she has a rash and has diarrhea and she chews on everything. She's totally going to get a tooth.

STOP WITH THE LIE-SAYING.

Seriously. Stop.

My baby has apparently been teething for four months according to these criteria. She's a crusty, sensitive-skinned baby who subsists on breast milk, so of course she's drooling and rashy and diarrhea-y. It clearly means nothing.

And you know what?! Sometimes babies are just fussy! Just because they're having a bad day doesn't mean they're teething. They're just mad that the cups don't stack right and their legs don't work yet and the thing they found on the carpet tastes bad. Just like when I'm having a bad day, it doesn't mean I'm PMS-ing. It just means I think you're stupid and annoying.

So all y'all can stop getting my hopes up about my baby getting teeth. She's never going to get teeth and she's never going to roll over back to tummy and she's never going to eat more than two bites of solid food. I'm learning to live with it. In the mean time, we're just trying to help her deal with her inherited moodiness. Her friend Stella seems to have figured it out.

I like you.