Tuesday, May 31, 2011

I'm not cut out for college

I feel like a lot of my blog posts either begin or end with me in hysterics. This one is no different.

About a week and a half ago, I boarded a plane for Minnesota. I'm starting a graduate program, and had to come up here for three weeks to get down and dirty with some qualitative analysis and quality improvement classes. The other super duper fun thing I get to do is live in a dorm. Might I also mention I'm 27 and have never lived with anyone other than my parents or my husband. Aside from that family I lived with as an exchange student, but they sort of left me in the basement with the slugs for a year so I'm not sure if that counts.

Anyway, in preparing for my first day of classes, I find out that I literally have to cross the Mississippi River to get to the classroom. Not disregarding that University of Minnesota's campus is mind-boggingly huge, I should have recognized that this was not going to turn out well. Public transportation and I have not typically gotten along well (exhibit A: lawn mower boat that took me to my hotel in Guatemala).

I didn't, much to Mitch's dismay, pile some pioneers on a raft and attempt to ford the river while my family all gets typhoid and/or drowns after we hit some rocks in shallow water (he still doesn't believe that I've ever beat Oregon's Trail). No no, I decided to be pragmatic and take the campus shuttle. After getting progressively sweatier and panickier for about 45 minutes while waiting for the shuttle THAT NEVER CAME, I lit'rally started running into traffic sob-screaming into my phone at Mitch to help me find a cab company after Goog411 failed me. I'VE WORKED TOO HARD AND WAITED TOO LONG FOR THIS!!!

Finally, I bawled to some lady on the phone who went a poor cab driver to drive my pathetic ass to my first class. Don't worry, I tipped him well. Then, of course, I had to navigate the West Bank of the campus, which entailed me spastically running up and down stairs around corners and back and forth through hallways until I found the registration table. I made it. With three minutes to spare.

Anyway, turns out that due to construction for a light rail system, most of the shuttle stops are null and void for the summer. Damn green initiatives. Otherwise, I have adjusted well since that horrific experience (for me and the people standing at the bus stop with me). Dorm food isn't so bad. I've learned how to get around pretty well. I've even made friends! Kinda. And none of this would have been possible were I not allowed to drink in my room.

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