Friday, May 28, 2010

I don't got these

Yeah, so rather than these beauteous protruberances, I actually have vocal cord cysts. I'm slated for surgery in a couple weeks.

Apparently the surgery is a little difficult, considering it's on such a small scale, and you're dealing with layers of tissue about 100 microns thick (think the width of a dust mite). So as I'm meeting with the surgeon today, and he's explaining the difficulty of the procedure and the risks and his stellar success record, I notice that his hands are covered in permanent marker. Like literally, one of his fingers was completely colored past the first joint. My concern is this, if he is not so deft at using a Sharpie, do I really want him using virtually microscopic machetes to hack away at my vocal cords? Further he mentioned that about 1% of the patients who elect this procedure (or as he put it, 10 in 1000. Maybe that was supposed to fool me into security) get their teeth chipped during the surgery, but typically this only happens in people who weigh 300 pounds or more. And this is exactly why I have watched my weight all these years, so that should I chance to need laryngoscopy, I would have a lower chance of having my teeth knocked out. But anyway, I'm a risk-taker.

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