Happy Birthday-versary to me

I did not want to be a teenage bride, so I waited until 4 days after my 20th birthday to get married. As a result, my poor husband has to celebrate my birthday and our anniversary in the same week. My birthday usually comes with several demands, and by our anniversary, we're usually too tired to do anything. This year, I demanded the following:

• delectable breakfast at a diner
• a mother-f***ing stamp in my national parks passport thingy
• a sand dune hike
• wine tasting
• a designated driver
  
• delectable dinner at a classy-ass restaurant with hostesses and shit
  
• f***ing birthday pie

As a result, we did crap for our anniversary, except for go to a wedding for some of our goober friends (love you Rach and Yo!) who decided to steal our anniversary. Which is to say, we got free dinner, booze, and transportation back to the hotel on our anniversary. Not that bad. Any of our other friends can feel free to throw weddings and/or parties and/or miscellaneous celebrations on our anniversary. We have passed the point of caring, and really just want free entertainment.