Saturday, September 29, 2012

Hello due date. You mean nothing to me.

yep. still pregnant.
Things I am doing today:
  • eating a donut. 
  • taking a nap.
  • yard work.
  • working on my thesis.
  • going out to dinner.
Things I am not doing today:
  • going to the movies.
  • going to work.
  • touching my toes.
  • eating lunch meat.
  • having a baby.
So little matters to me right now, I can barely manage to write a sentence of my thesis. Not even a fake sentence like, "empirical evidence demonstrates that the proposed intervention, nested in theory, significantly reduces the risk of the target outcome by ameliorating the effects of the aforementioned deleterious institutionalized practices." I should just cut and paste that into my intro. Yesterday, I spent like, a total of 45 minutes working. The rest of the time, I spent writing and rewriting snarky emails to people who had the nerve (THE NERVE) to ask me to do things for them on the day before my due date. How dare they.

But really, we didn't want to have our baby on her due date. A year ago today, we lost our first baby, and if we had her today, it might seem...irreverent. Don't get me wrong, I haven't spent this pregnancy mourning that loss, though that may make me seem unfeeling to some of you. I have enjoyed virtually every moment of this gloriously long pregnancy, and I am immensely thankful to have carried a baby to term. It's hard to continue mourning the loss of our first when I know that, given the timing, we never would have had this one otherwise. I know I will always feel so blessed and thankful that she is in our lives, and I can't help but relinquish some of that original sadness on her behalf. But I don't want her birth marred by any of those memories. She deserves her own day.

So unless I go into labor right now, and blast this baby out, I think we're in the clear. See you all on the flipside.

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