Monday, January 24, 2011

Inner monologue.

Dear person-walking-on-the-treadmill-next-to-me-at-the-rec-center,

I don't care if you love the music in your headphones, don't sing it out loud. I do not share your love for Nikki Minaj. Please stop clapping and saying "yay" whenever your iPod plays a song you like. It's not magic (contrary to popular belief), and it's not catering to your needs. It uses an algorithm, and gets absolutely no emotional satisfaction from making you happy. Also, it's 6:00 am, and I only made it here out of the fear of killing/pooping myself at the half-marathon I'm running in four months, so SHUT THE HELL UP. If you have enough energy flap your arms around and talk to the person on the other side of me, you're not running fast enough.

Kindest Regards,

1 comment:

  1. There's no shame in pooping yourself during a long race. Or at least less than with similar behavior in the office.